For the last several years I have chosen to abandon the idea of a New Years resolution, and instead choose one word that I can focus on for the year. The word I choose is how I want to feel, or what I want my year to look like.
A few of my past words have been
This year, my word of the year came to me easily. Just like it has in years past. I’d notice the word coming to mind when thinking about different things I know are on the horizon in 2019.
The word I have chosen for 2019 is Patience.
We have a very busy and crazy first half of the year already planned.
Not only are we expecting our 3rd child, we have also made the decision to sell our home and build a new home! Our baby is due in April and our home won’t be ready until May.
Our home will be on the market while my pregnancy is nearing the end and we will be moving with a newborn. Told you it was going to be a crazy spring!
This year is also going to require me to continue to trust like I did in 2018. There are a lot of unknowns at this point, but I know God has a lot of good things in store.
Why did I choose the word patience?
There are so many reasons patience feels right for 2019. I am heading into a season that not only do I need patience in my marriage, motherhood and my career… but also patience with my body and my health journey.
Patience for my marriage.
This year we will welcome a third child to our family. A little girl… who is still unnamed so spam me your favorite girl names!!! Adding another little person is going to require patience, and teamwork, for my husband and I.
I want to seek patience as we navigate life with 3 kids.
It is going to be more work for all of us, but I know that God gave me the man He did because we are better in this life together. After 13 years of marriage we know what works and what doesn’t, and we are always willing to shift and grow where it is needed to keep our family happy (for the most part).
We are not perfect by any means. We make a lot of mistakes, we get angry and we fight… but at the end of the day we love each other deeply and we fight for our marriage day in and day out.
This hasn’t always been easy for us, but kids and careers and the craziness of life changes have helped us realize that life is so much better when we are working towards happiness together.
Patience for our family.
Not only are we welcoming a baby girl, we are building a new home!
You may think we are crazy that in a years time we have gotten a puppy, gotten pregnant, will be selling our home and building a new one and bringing home a little girl! Heck, we may just be a little crazy 🙂 But, I know together, with patience, we can do this.
We’ve built a home before and I grew up with parent’s who are contractors so it’s not too overwhelming for me. I’m choosing to feel excited and I have great faith that my parents are going to be helpful along the way so the process can go as smoothly as it can, and with their expertise and experience it takes a lot of fear away from us to have their guidance as we make important decisions about our new home.
With the move, and the new baby, I want to extend patience to my boys who are 7 & 3. They don’t realize quite yet how much their world is going to change, but my hope is that I can teach them that change is good.
When life brings change, that’s where growth happens. So many blessings are found when we allow change to happen.
I want to be patient as they welcome their sister into this world, as we leave a neighborhood that they have lots of friends in and our roles shift. As I type this out, tears are streaming because this is the hardest part for me when it comes to adding another child is the change in the roles of the family. But, what I now know after having my second son in 2015 is that the shift is beautiful.
With time, and a lot of love, new bonds are formed that are amazing and wonderful to witness.
When my children grow old, I want them to describe their mother as patient. I want them to remember me as someone who allowed them time to process emotions and circumstances and grow into their lives. The only way they can remember a Mom like this is if I am intentionally patient in their upbringing.
Patience for my health.
2018 was a year of so much change. I reached my “goal weight” only to discover that it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. With it came pressure and obsession to be a certain size or weight that after a few months left me suffocated and screaming for a way out.
And so I left diet culture. I walked away from a community that meant the world to me to seek happiness, freedom and hope.
The best part is I found exactly that. Freedom especially.
The second half of the year brought a growing body from pregnancy and as I ended 2018 my thoughts have been surrounding how I will feel once this sweet girl is in my arms and how I will get back to my healthy and happy weight, without a diet or being engaged in diet culture.
Navigating that is going to require patience. I won’t be setting monthly weight loss goals or working out to a point of exhaustion again. I want to be patient with my body as it shifts from pregnancy to postpartum. I am not in control of my hormones or what my body will do… but I am in control of how I treat my body and how I speak about it.
I want to have patience with loose skin, extra weight, loss of muscle tone and a bigger booty.
I have implemented so many positive health changes that I’ve had the healthiest pregnancy I’ve ever had, but I know my default is to find the quickest diet after my baby arrives and I’ll be praying over the next several months that God shields me from that path. I’m praying for patience to allow my body to do what it needs to do, and to be willing to allow it to take it’s time and focus instead on the healthy habits I know make me FEEL good, without the obsession of “looking good”.
Patience for my career.
I became a blogger 1.5 years ago. It wasn’t something I’d dreamed of becoming. I didn’t even know how people made money doing it.
When I took this leap of faith to put my thoughts and feelings in my little space on the internet it took a lot of guts if I can be honest.
I share the mess.
I share the raw and emotional parts of my journey that allow people to have judgement on my journey… something many people don’t allow others to do.
I do it because I know it’s helpful for people to see a person who doesn’t have all the answers.
I do it because I think it’s helpful to watch people change and grow and find their way.
I do it because I’ve felt so alone so many times and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way.
In 2019 my career will shift and change because I will now need to navigate my time around a newborn and her schedule, all while still being Mommy to my boys. It’s going to be different, but it can be done because I believe now more than ever that my work is important.
I want to continue to share my story in hopes it will inspire others to share their own.
I want to help other women begin their blogging journey and am looking forward to new clients at Spark Media Concepts which has been in business now for one year! My business partner, Jennifer, and I have helped others make their blog dreams a reality and we have been SO inspired by the people we have worked with. What a blessing to help others chase their dreams.
If blogging is something you have dreamed of doing, we would love to help make that a reality in 2019!
My wish for you in 2019 is that you find whatever it is you are looking for. Don’t be afraid to reach for things that scare you. The best things can be found when you step outside of your comfort zone.
As scary as it can be, it’s also incredibly rewarding to look back over a year and see where the growth happened. To look at what you have overcome and say to yourself,
“Girl, you are STRONG. You are resilient. You are a warrior. And this crazy life may be broken but it is so very beautiful.”
Shine in 2019 my friends. I can’t wait to see you glow.